I'm sure everyone is so busy with revision for your final exam right? Including those taking BM this Thursday, well below are some jokes to share with you all to destress and relax :)

Joke 1:
Kopi & Bread which is more talkative?
Answer: Bread because BreadTalk and KopiTIAM!!!!!

Joke 2: Part 1

Ah Beng calls the telephone operator:
Ah Beng: "Could you please tell me the time difference between
Singapore and New York ?"
Operator: "Just a minute..."
Ah Beng: "Thank you."
Ah Beng got his answer and cut off the line.

Part 2

At a bar in New York , the man sat next to Ah Beng told the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE."
and his companion said, "JACK DANIELS,SINGLE. "
The bartender turned to Ah Beng and asked, "AND YOU, SIR?"
Ah Beng replied: "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED."

Part 3

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite sometime, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.
"It took me only 5 MONTHS to do it," Ah Beng said.
"FIVE MONTHS? Why did you take so long." the friend asked.
Ah Beng replied, "No, it is not long at all, look at the box, it says it is for 4 to 7 years".

Part 4

Ah Beng took part in the Singapore Manhunt Competition. During the Q&A segment, the host asks, "Name a drink that begins with the letter 'G'."
The crowd shouts, "Gin! Gin!". Others exclaim, "No, its Grape Juice!"
Another smart aleck yells, "Alamak, Gatorade!"
Host : "Quiet please."
Ah Beng laughs hysterically like a hyena before replying, "C'mon man, I don't need their help? I got more original answer. My answer is "Gu ni!" (milk in Hokkien)

Part 5

Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it when he encountered some problems. After a few attempts, he decided to use the 'Help' command. Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer shop for support.
Ah Beng : "I pressed the 'F1' key for help... but it's been over half an hour & still nobody has come to help me...."

Part 6

In the class.
Teacher: "Class, do you know the meaning of parents?"
Ah Beng: "Yes, teacher, it means father and mother"
Teacher: "Good. Can you give me an example?"
Ah Beng: "Sure. Cowboy's parents means cowboy's father and
mother. Also can say Cowboy's father is Cow Pay and
Cowboy's mother is Cow Boo.
So if they walk together, we can say they are 'Cow Pay
Cow Boo'".

Part 7

Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered," I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring lor- but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear. So Kena lor!"
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But, what happened to the other ear?"
Ah Beng: "That stupid fellow called back again loh!"

Part 8

Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because according to the advertisement, below 18 is not allowed to go in

Joke 3:
> NAMES OF WIVES
A malay man had 4 wives, and he called his...
4th wife..... baby doll
3rd wife.....china doll
2nd wife.....barbie doll
1st wife..... panadol !

Joke 4:
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
'My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'

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Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.

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Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night..
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

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Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.

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Ah Beng : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again.

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Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for complement.'

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How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

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Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast
announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

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Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

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Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'

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Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So wh at? Take an umbrella and go.'

THE END OPPS is too long but dont forget to study hard people JIAYOU!! ADD OIL!!!